LaughAtlantis

So, yeah.

Normally I am not terribly forthcoming about my blog with the people that I work with. A handful of folks know about it - well, three people, all of whom are friends outside of work. I think only one of them actually reads this thing. (Hi Cheryl!)

Anyway, yesterday I was having a chat with Cheryl and two other people at my office and she mentioned my blog. They glommed onto this and one of them threatened to just Google me until he found out the website name if I didn't reveal the URL then and there. So I offered it up.

And now I keep thinking about it...

I know that for a long time, my blog was up there in the list of google pages under the search heading for the word 'fucker' because of an entry from over a year ago about the president of my company. So, that's not good. And I know that I have multiple complaints about my current job from further back than that - though they are that far back, and not recent. I guess I have better things to write about of late. Or rather, I just haven't been writing about anything lately...

It's weird how I compartmentalize my life. I have work people, improv people, family people, and other. It's strange - Cheryl is classified in my own mind as an improv person despite the fact that I work with her. I went to a show that she was in and was somewhat stunned to find one of my co-workers there. I just don't expect the circles to overlap like that.

The blogging thing is also its own entity. On some level, I feel like it's entirely separate from real life, though I know that people in my real life read it. It's funny, I had a "secret" wedding blog on a wedding website - not Rod's and my wedding blog, but another - and I always felt a little more free about writing whatever I pleased over there because I knew that nobody in my real life read it. Here I feel like I have to edit things, at least slightly.

So it's odd that work people know about this blog. I really hope this is not a spate of work people - it may be advisable for me to take down some entries, and I don't like doing that. It's my blog, dammit, I want to be able to say whatever I want.

Well, as close to "whatever I want" as I'm willing to come in a public forum that my in-laws read...

Okay, so, there are a couple of new guys at work, who are situated in the two cubicles sort of diagonal from mine.

And they're Republicans.

Now, I don't have that big of a beef with Republicans in and of themselves. There are most certainly good people in the world who happen to be Republican. There are normal folks who vote Republican becaue they like one aspect of the party or another. But then there are essence-of-evil Republicans - and sadly, I now work with one.

This guy - let's call him Biff, for want of a better name - is an older gentleman who's been a lifelong conservative Republican and proudly proclaims that he's never missed an election. I think that last part is great, personally, because voting's an important thing. But Biff drops by my cube at least twice a day to throw digs at Democratic presidential candidates, to compliment John Ashcroft, to discuss how great the Patriot Act is, to chat about homeland security issues, to tell me that he believes in book banning.

Give me a reason not to punch him.

I don't care what his views are; I really don't. If he wants to have a realistic exchange of ideas, fine, but I really think he's just spouting stuff that he knows is going to piss me off. I was talking to the other new guy, Mark, about policies that I think do and don't work, and political viewpoints that are, for me, dealbreakers as far as who I cast my vote for. And Biff will poke his head over and say, "Vote Lieberman... there's a winner. Or Kerry. God, I like him about as much as I liked Clinton. What a jerk he is."

I'm not a Lieberman fan, and I'm not a huge Kerry fan either. I like Clark and I like Edwards, and Rod's a Deanster, but let's face facts here on Bill Clinton... Bill Clinton was a damned good politician. You can put aside his personal life; it means nothing in light of his politics. I think he could put Dubya to shame in a debate, and as a public speaker, the current president is laughable by comparison. And as a president, Clinton outranks Georgie by a long shot.

All that is neither here nor there. My point is about BIFF.

I come in later in the morning than most folks - just by about twenty minutes, but whatever, it is still later. I do that partly because I'm not a morning person, partly because my boss has told me it doesn't bother him, and partly because I eat my lunch at my desk, thus taking a shorter lunch, and I work late fairly frequently. When I come in, Biff announces, "Well, I guess we can all begin now. Joy has arrived."

Bite me.

I have to walk by the man en route to ... well, to anywhere, actually... and he calls out to me every damn time. Yesterday he called me a Communist.

I really think I might throttle him.

"I like Joe Lieberman. I look at the presidential candidates and I think, there's a bunch of bruised apples, and then I look at Lieberman, and I think, well, there's at least a slight sheen on that. Sort of."

Ooh, he's all metaphorical. Democrats are bad apples. I get it.

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"I get my news from Fox, the Wall Street Journal editorial, Rush Limbaugh... where do you and your people get your news?"

If you're reading this, by the way, you are now one of my people. I own your ass and I will force you to read news online from at least three different sources every day, and to watch The Daily Show. Heed my bidding. You are my people.

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"I have a theory about John Kerry, about what he's doing to seem more appealing to people. You know Julia Roberts, right? Well, I think Kerry had collagen injections in his lips."

I don't even know what to do with that.

So, there is this trend in the blog community here, there, and everywhere, of random questions being asked and the blogger providing answers. This latest ocncept question thingie is really interesting, because the questions are never the same... so here are the answers to the five questions that artricia has given me.

Here's how this thing works:
THE RULES
1 - If you want to be interviewed, leave a comment.
2 - I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 - You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 - You'll include this explanation.
5 - You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

1. Who is your favorite playwrite? (Shakespeare is barred as an answer)
- This question is tough. Really tough. (And by the way, it's playwright, and you should be ashamed. I am The Spelling Police.) I'm going to go with Lorraine Hansberry because I did my senior thesis on her, because she died before her time and is thus not particularly well -known, and because she's feckin' brilliant.

2. How many items do you still own that say "Joy" on them? Give your favorite three examples.
- Good lord, I have no idea how many I still have. Dozens. My mom gives me an ornament every Christmas with my name on it, and usually tries to squeez in a few other gifts here and there that are joy-riddled:

My favorites... I have a small square pillow that doesn't say Joy in English, but in Hebrew - or so my mother claims, which probably means it's not true at all. Doesn't really look Hebrew, but it's sort of cool that it (theoretically) says Joy without looking like it does.
Second Joy thing: Actually, this is six separate Joy things, and they're a recent acquisition. For Christmas this year, Mom got me six potholders with my name on them. When I would ever need to hold six pots at a time, I don't know, but these are just really handy little potholders. They're smaller than regular ones and are perfect for holding a bowl you've just taken out of the microwave or something of that sort. An useful Joy thing! Astounding!
Third: This would be a controversial choice if my mother read this, but I am going to go with this hard plastic bucket-bag thing that my former roommate, Tracey, got me. She painted my name on the side. I use it as a catch-all for all things hair-related, so it's both handy and pretty. And from Tracey. Don't tell my mom.

3. Your extended family has some interesting names. Which is your favorite (it need not be a name you would ever give someone). Which is the most outrageous?
- My paternal grandfather was named Romeo Waldo Emilio Carletti. (The Waldo is pronounced Ubaldo.) I love that. It's just a name that flows. And I love my mother-in-law's name, Mirren, because it's unusual and because it seems to combine the elements that you want in a women's name: it's somehow quietly gentle and feminine (whough not overtly so), and at the same time, quite strong. As for the most outrageous, well, there's my great aunt Zula Mae Large, but I think that sort of pales in comparison to the great-uncle trio of Costal, Overtt, and Vandell Large.

4. Are you still accident prone? Or am I just a jinx?
- I still trip here and there, and stumble a bit, but I haven't sprained an ankle in a year or so, and I haven't had a piece of lung removed in nearly ten years. So, maybe it is you, or maybe it's Rochester. Last time you were here, I didn't hurt myself, did I? If I did, it must have been a head wound, because I don't remember it.

5. Which story about yourself do you most want to narrate to your future grandchildren?
- Interesting. If I'm telling random stories to people now, it wouldn't really be this, but I would want to tell my grandchildren about how Rod proposed to me, in the hallway between the bedroom and the living room in his apartment, where there was a box of computer parts next to me and booksstacked next to those, and a pile of laundry three feet away, and yet it was still the most romantic moment of my life. The world isn't made magic by the things you have, the place you are, the neatness of your room - it's about the people you're with.

That's all! Comment if you want some questions from me.

I am buying a new cell phone with the intent of changing cell service and am pondering whether I should take my phone number with me or get a new one. Most would say to take it with; after all, switching is just a pain. But see, I have issues with my phone.

My biggest problem is people calling to talk to Felix. They ask me where Felix is. I don't know where Felix is; I've never met Felix; I just have his old phone number. And if I knew what his new number was, I would call him to have him shut off his yahoo text message reminders, sent to his (er, my) cell phone, to pay his Citibank Visa bill. I have told four people now that if they get in touch with Felix, I would really appreciate him turning them off. But Felix mocks me. He doesn't turn them off, and lately they've gotten more frequent. This means that either Felix has decided to send more reminders to me on purpose, or the fact that he hasn't been receivng the messages himself means that he hasn't paid his bill - and thus, Citibank is sending more messages in an attempt to convince him to do so. Either way, it's a bit exasperating.

I also have a somewhat odd phone number; what it spells out is kind of nifty, if you convert the numbers to letters, but if you don't then I have a 666 in the middle of my number. It's a little off-putting on some level.

So I'm torn. Convenience of not having to inform everyone I know that I have a new number? Or convenience of not having to deal with Felix and Satan? What to do....

Biff just sat here and tried to talk to me about how the Roe v. Wade case was botched. He is apparently "pretty much okay with abortion," but just wants it back on a state by state level. It doesn't seem fair to mandate these things federally, he says. Why make everyone conform to the same rules?

Okay, Biff, tell that to a girl in southern Texas who then has to drive upwards of 17 hours to get to the nearest clinic because of a state law. Or the Hawaiian woman who has to fly to one.

He's a mental midget if he can't see the huge flaws in that particular argument.

I can't even begin to tell you how hard it was for me to just say, "I really can't talk to you about this issue."

I want to kill him, I really do. I mean, if you are going to come out against Roe v. Wade, fine, be a bible-thumping fuckhead and just be anti-choice. Have principles. They're not principles I espouse, but at least they're principles. But don't be for abortion but against everyone having a right to them.

I am just sitting here seething. I can't argue with this guy - there's no point. But now I am just sitting here, pissed, and I can't see straight. I honestly don't know what the hell to do.

I found this great game! When Biff pisses me off, now I will just go smite people!