LaughAtlantis

Okay, so, there are a couple of new guys at work, who are situated in the two cubicles sort of diagonal from mine.

And they're Republicans.

Now, I don't have that big of a beef with Republicans in and of themselves. There are most certainly good people in the world who happen to be Republican. There are normal folks who vote Republican becaue they like one aspect of the party or another. But then there are essence-of-evil Republicans - and sadly, I now work with one.

This guy - let's call him Biff, for want of a better name - is an older gentleman who's been a lifelong conservative Republican and proudly proclaims that he's never missed an election. I think that last part is great, personally, because voting's an important thing. But Biff drops by my cube at least twice a day to throw digs at Democratic presidential candidates, to compliment John Ashcroft, to discuss how great the Patriot Act is, to chat about homeland security issues, to tell me that he believes in book banning.

Give me a reason not to punch him.

I don't care what his views are; I really don't. If he wants to have a realistic exchange of ideas, fine, but I really think he's just spouting stuff that he knows is going to piss me off. I was talking to the other new guy, Mark, about policies that I think do and don't work, and political viewpoints that are, for me, dealbreakers as far as who I cast my vote for. And Biff will poke his head over and say, "Vote Lieberman... there's a winner. Or Kerry. God, I like him about as much as I liked Clinton. What a jerk he is."

I'm not a Lieberman fan, and I'm not a huge Kerry fan either. I like Clark and I like Edwards, and Rod's a Deanster, but let's face facts here on Bill Clinton... Bill Clinton was a damned good politician. You can put aside his personal life; it means nothing in light of his politics. I think he could put Dubya to shame in a debate, and as a public speaker, the current president is laughable by comparison. And as a president, Clinton outranks Georgie by a long shot.

All that is neither here nor there. My point is about BIFF.

I come in later in the morning than most folks - just by about twenty minutes, but whatever, it is still later. I do that partly because I'm not a morning person, partly because my boss has told me it doesn't bother him, and partly because I eat my lunch at my desk, thus taking a shorter lunch, and I work late fairly frequently. When I come in, Biff announces, "Well, I guess we can all begin now. Joy has arrived."

Bite me.

I have to walk by the man en route to ... well, to anywhere, actually... and he calls out to me every damn time. Yesterday he called me a Communist.

I really think I might throttle him.