I really wanted to go to the Police concert at Fenway Park, but there was no way I was going to spend $95 on a ticket - not to mention, how much fun is a concert when you go alone, anyway? Rod knew how much I wanted to go though, so when the Weekly Dig sent out an email offering up a free pair of tickets, he fired back immediately with an email stating, "Did I win? My life would me me forever." The Dig was happy to give him the tickets, on the condition that I provide email testimonial that I would indeed love him forever. Here is my reply...
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My husband would like me to attest to the fact that Police tickets would make me love him forever. The truth is this:
Rod and I have been married for three and a half years. He has not done a single load of laundry in that time. Despite the fact that we have an old, slightly infirm basset hound, Rod has only managed to pick up dog poop off our back porch twice. His hairline has receded, his waistline has expanded, he has stopped wearing his contacts, and his beard is more scruff than anything else. On top of that, I can't drive, I'm asthmatic, and I only have one lung, yet as you can see by his email below, Rod would rather have me walk to your offices than be inconvenienced on his comfy drive to work, the rat bastard.
But if he could get us free tickets to see The Police... wow. That would not just make me love him forever, it would actually make me forgive him for a lot of that stuff I just revealed. (Except the dog poop. There's just no forgiving that.)
So please, consider our request for Police tickets. You could indeed cause eternal bliss... and make make me blind to baldness. Quite impressive, really.
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The Dig apparently really liked my response because they now want to use it in their marketing stuff, as a "we'll give stuff away free but you may have to jump through hoops to get it" fun ploy.
I like being funny.